But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
