Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Can I color on your dick again?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
