i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
