Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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