After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
