carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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