i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
