I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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