You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
