If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
