We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
