The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
