I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish I only lived at night.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
