My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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