apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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