I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
