what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
