If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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