you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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