I could make wine with my vomit
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I want her autograph on my taint
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
