no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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