I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
