There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Text me some of your sweat
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
