my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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