I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
