he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
