it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
