He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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