At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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