absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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