Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
