Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
