Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
