she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
