Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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