AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
