he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it's like iHOP with fire
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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