Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
