Can i not drive my cunt home
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it was like eating out sand paper
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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