I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
