once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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