Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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