butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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