woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
