I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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