We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
