Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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