i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
