just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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