I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
