But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
