We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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