I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I want a musical about memes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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