you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
