we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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