Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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