Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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